Pssst…wanta buy a credit card?

The government has bizarrely decided (a lot of my thoughts begin this way) that it is a good idea to allow children under the age of eighteen to have credit cards. In their infinite wisdom they have degreed that although children are not sufficiently mature to have a beer down the local pub, they are capable of joining the army, getting shot or blown up and happily running themselves into a life of debt.

Am I alone in thinking that this is in the best interests of the credit card companies, rather than the kids themselves? The whole idea of this is just stupid, crazy, mad, exploitive, commercial and unethical.

At least that is what I thought BP (before pregnancy)

Now I find myself faced with the very real possibility that my wife is about to introduce three additional people into our lives (all in one go), I find that I have changed my mind about the government’s decision and instead applaud them for the brave stance they have taken on this controversial issue.

I intend to hover over my wife’s belly as she gives birth, a wad of credit card applications clutched in my sweaty hands. The moment those kids come out I’m signing them up to as many companies as I can get (I assume a handprint and a dollop of afterbirth will pass as a signature). As soon as the forms are approved I plan to put all child-rearing expenses onto their individual accounts. On their 18th birthdays I will proudly present them with their bills and sod off to live on a tropical island with the money I’ve saved.

God bless you Mr. Blair.